Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Ten ways to argue about the war

I found this article on Salon.com and I'm reposting it here because it's intelligible, pithy, and logical. I opposed the invasion of Iraq and have advocated American troop withdrawal since the beginning, but sometimes I wonder how that military power vacuum would affect the future of the Near East. I wonder if it would not be better to stay and attempt to clean up the mess we made. I waver and hesitate, like much of the Democratic leadership does. Then I encounter an article like this one by Michael Schwartz that neatly lays out the facts and figures, and my resolve is strengthened. It's organized as a point-by-point response to an email he received from a war supporter entitled, "10 Questions".

How to talk back to die-hard war supporters
by Michael Schwartz (author and professor of Sociology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook)

1. Nothing was mentioned about improvements in Iraq (elections, water and energy, schools). No Saddam to fear! Water and energy delivery as well as schools are worse off than before the U.S. invasion. Ditto for the state of hospitals (and medical supplies), highways and oil production. Elections are a positive change, but the elected government does not have more than a semblance of actual sovereignty, and therefore the Iraqi people have no power to make real choices about their future. One critical example: The Shiite/Kurdish political coalition now in power ran on a platform whose primary promise was that, if elected, they would set and enforce a timetable for American withdrawal. As soon as they took power, they reneged on this promise (apparently under pressure from the United States). They have also proved quite incapable of fulfilling their other campaign promises about restoring services and rebuilding the country; and for that reason (as well as others), their constituents (primarily the Shiites) are becoming ever more disillusioned. In the most recent polls, Shiite Iraqis now are about 70 percent in favor of U.S. withdrawal.

2. Nothing was mentioned about Iraqis who want the U.S. to remain (especially the Kurds and the majority of Iraqi women). Among the three principal ethno-religious groups in Iraq, the Sunnis (about a fifth of the population) are almost unanimous in their opposition to the American presence, while around 70 percent of the Shiites (themselves about 60 percent of the population) want the United States to withdraw. Hence, even before we consider the Kurds, the majority of Iraqis are in favor of a full-scale American departure "as soon as possible." It is true that the Kurds (about 20 percent of the population) favor the United States remaining. However, they have their own militias, and many of them do not want significant numbers of American troops in their territory. (The U.S. presence there is small scale at the moment.) What they desire is a U.S. occupation for someone else, not themselves. I think we can safely say that the vast majority of Iraqis oppose the presence of U.S. troops. I know of no study indicating that Iraqi women favor the U.S. presence. Perhaps you are referring to the fact that large numbers of women in Iraq are upset and angry over the erosion of their rights since the fall of Saddam. I know some commentators claim that the U.S. presence is insurance against further erosion of those rights, but everything I have read indicates that a significant number of Iraqi women (like all other Iraqis) blame the Bush administration for these policies. After all, the Americans installed in power (and continue to support) the political forces spearheading anti-woman policies in the country. Polling data does not indicate that any sizable group of Sunni or Shiite women support a continued U.S. presence.

3. Nothing was mentioned about the benefits of the U.S. military gaining valuable experience and knowledge daily. Certainly, the U.S. gains military and political "experience" from the war, as from any war, but at the expense of many deaths (2,127) and injuries (at least 15,704) to American soldiers. Beyond these publicly listed casualty figures lie the endless ways in which the lives of our soldiers are permanently damaged: On Nov. 26, for example, the New York Times reported on a recent Army study indicating that 17 percent of all personnel sent to Iraq have "serious symptoms of depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder." Since about a million American troops have now seen service in Iraq, approximately 170,000 have gained the "experience" of having a severe mental problem. Moreover, the war experience in Iraq has proved so demoralizing to the military that many of the best soldiers are leaving at the end of their tours, instead of staying on in active or reserve status. This is undermining the viability of the military, long term.

U.S. casualties, of course, have been dwarfed by the damage done to the Iraqi people. Between 25,000 and 40,000 Iraqi civilians are dying each year -- and multitudes are injured. We are wrecking the country's infrastructure.

Certainly there is a better way to gain experience than this.

4. Nothing was mentioned about the future benefits of a strong democracy in the Middle East. We can all agree that a strong democracy in the Middle East would have huge benefits for Iraq and for its neighbors as well as for the rest of the world. If I thought that our actions there were helping to bring this about, perhaps I might also believe that the benefits of an active democracy outweighed at least some of the many problems we have been creating. But from the beginning, the talk of democracy was a hollow mantra, just one of a group of public rationalizations for a war motivated by the Bush administration's desire to dominate Middle Eastern politics and economics. The U.S. government has never actually relinquished sovereignty to the Iraqi government.

5. Nothing was mentioned about the future benefits of oil reserves. Though the Bush administration denies it, many observers agree with you that access to Iraqi oil was a major motivation for the war. But we need to understand the nature of this motivation. Even before the invasion, when U.N. sanctions were still in place against Saddam Hussein's regime, American oil companies could (and, in many cases, did) buy Iraqi oil at market price. The issue was never "access" to Iraqi oil in the sense of simply being able to buy it. The Bush administration was thinking about other kinds of energy access, including controlling the heartland of the word's main future oil supplies and giving American oil companies privileged access to Iraqi oil reserves. (See, for example, the recent report by the Global Policy Forum.) It's my contention that such privileged "access" for U.S. oil companies would not help the American people. Moreover, such privileged access would have deprived the Iraqis of their right to use the oil to their own benefit -- something they desperately need now that the Saddam Hussein regime, 12 years of brutal sanctions, and the current war have gutted the country.

The best approach for us (but not necessarily for the American oil companies) would be to buy our oil on the open market, put our research money into conservation and renewable fuels instead of military adventures, and avoid trying to get "control" of something that doesn't belong to us.

6. Nothing was mentioned about what fundamentalist Muslims would like to achieve. I assume that, when you refer to "fundamentalist Muslims," you are referring to terrorists, including those in Iraq and those who attacked the World Trade Center, the London tube, and the Madrid trains. First, I have to disagree with this identification of the terrorists (who are indeed fundamentalist) with all fundamentalist Muslims. That would be the same as characterizing those who bombed the Oklahoma City Federal Building as "fundamentalist Christians" and then implying that the destruction of such buildings is what all fundamentalist Christians yearn to achieve.

Second, I disagree with the implicit argument that somehow withdrawal will allow the terrorists to dominate Iraqi society and impose a horrible regime on an Iraq bent on attacking its neighbors and the United States. A large part of my commentary in favor of withdrawal was devoted to debunking this prevalent idea. I think I made a reasonably good case for the possibility that Bush administration actions in Iraq are creating and strengthening the terrorist groups within the Iraqi resistance. The longer the United States stays, the more the Islamic terrorists there are likely gain strength; the sooner the United States leaves, the more quickly the resistance will subside, and -- with it -- support for terrorism. The administration's Iraqi occupation policies are the equivalent of a nightmarish self-fulfilling prophesy.

7. Nothing was mentioned about the results of the U.S. evacuation from Southeast Asia (over a million killed within 5 years). I think we need to disentangle two different events involving the (forced) American departure from Southeast Asia. First, there was Vietnam, where it was always predicted that a horrendous bloodbath would follow any American withdrawal. Indeed, there were certainly deaths there after the U.S. left, and many refugees fled the country, some for the United States. But whatever these figures may have been, they were dwarfed by the incredible bloodbath that the U.S. created by being in Vietnam in the first place. Reputable sources suggest that millions of Vietnamese died (and countless others were permanently wounded) during the war years. We must conclude, therefore, that in Vietnam our departure actually resulted in a drastic decline in the levels of violence, and – sometime afterward – an end to the havoc and destruction; not to speak of the fact that, for years now, the United States has had plenty of "credibility" in Vietnam. Second, there was the holocaust in Cambodia, which may well have resulted in a million or more deaths. This was also, however, a complex consequence of the U.S. presence in Southeast Asia, not a result of our departure. Cambodia had a stable, neutral government until the Nixon administration launched massive secret bombings against its territory, invaded the country, destabilized the regime, and set in motion the grim unraveling that led to the rise of the murderous Khmer Rouge. If the U.S. had withdrawn from Vietnam in 1965 or 1968, that holocaust would quite certainly never have happened.

The situation in Iraq is not that dissimilar. If the U.S. withdraws soon, there is at least a reasonable chance that the violence will subside quickly and that peace and stability in the region might ever so slowly take hold. The longer the U.S. stays – further destroying the Iraqi infrastructure and destabilizing neighboring regimes (like Syria and Iran) – the more likely it is that horrific civil wars and other forms of brutality will indeed occur.

8. Nothing was mentioned about the reputation of the U.S. if it retreats. Don't forget the quotes about Somalia from Osama Bin Laden. "Cut and Run." Here we agree. If the U.S. withdraws, this "retreat" will undermine U.S. credibility whenever, in the future, an administration threatens to use military power to force another country to submit to its demands (and may also, as after Vietnam, make Americans far more wary about sending troops abroad to fight presidential wars of choice). I think there are two important implications that derive from this observation.

The first is that this has, in fact, already happened. The most crystalline case making this point is that of Iran, whose leaders were much more compliant to U.S. demands /before/ the Iraq invasion than now that they have seen how the Iraqi resistance has frustrated our military. In fact, the invasion of Iraq has probably done more to strengthen the oppressive Iranian regime, domestically and in the Middle East, than any set of events in the past quarter-century. In other words – from your point of view – the longer the Bush administration stays and flounders, the more it undermines its ability to use the threat of military intervention to force other countries to conform to its demands.

From my point of view – and this is the second implication I want to point out – the undermining of U.S. credibility is one of the few good things that has resulted from the war in Iraq. I do not believe that anything positive is likely to come from American military adventures; quite the contrary, the Bush administration (and the Clinton, earlier Bush, and Reagan administrations) have used military power to impose bad policies on other countries. We would be much better off, I believe, with the multi-polar world that many Americans advocate (and this administration loathes the very thought of), in which no single state (including the U.S.) could impose itself on others without at least the support of a great many others. We would be far better off in a multitude of ways if our country stopped spending more on its military than the rest of the world combined and started spending some of that money on things that would actually improve the welfare of our people.

9. Nothing was mentioned about Germany, Japan, Korea, and the former Yugoslavia. Should we get out of those? Where was the prewar planning to get out of all those locations. Did Lincoln have a prewar plan to leave the South? I agree that some wars, some interventions, and some occupations can be positive things (without evaluating the particulars of the examples you offer). That does not mean that all, or even most, of them are good. The invasion, occupation, and destruction of Iraq is neither justified, nor moral.

10. Nothing was mentioned about 9/11, where we were attacked by fundamentalist Muslims. How do we change their attitudes? This query rests on two premises: The first belongs to the Bush administration and was part of the package of lies and intelligence manipulations that it used to hustle Congress and the American people into war – the claim that Saddam Hussein's regime and the terrorists who attacked the United States on Sept. 11, 2001, had anything in common or any ties whatsoever. They didn't, and the truth is that 9/11, important as it was, really should have nothing to do with Iraq and no place in any discussion of the war there – or at least that was certainly true until George Bush and his advisers managed almost single-handedly to recreate Iraq as the "central theater in the war on terror."

The second premise is one held by many Americans – that the only way to change the attitudes of those who are fighting the U.S. involves "whipping their ass," which rests on another commonly held opinion – that "these people only understand force." Attitudes are never changed in this way. Every serious scholar who studies terrorism agrees on this essential point: Terrorism arises from the misery that many people are forced to live in or in close proximity to. It is misguided and criminal, but it nevertheless derives from complaints people have about their daily lives, about the humiliations they experience in the larger social and political worlds they inhabit, and about the apparent impossibility of changing these circumstances.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Paris is not burning

Four days later and I'm finally done with all the photos. There are 34 pics of me and the family in Paris uploaded here. Contrary to popular opinion, Paris was NOT burning during the first part of November. Many of our friends left us emails and voicemail messages expressing concern, but all the conflagrations you saw on the news were in the suburbs, not the city center. See for yourself. The most drama we had was when JC was pickpocketed by a little Gypsy girl on the subway in Rome.

Tonight I had a short text message conversation with a friend from Thailand who recently moved to the U.S. to marry a guy in Kansas City. I've been wondering how she was adjusting, since she'd never been out of Thailand before and now all of a sudden she's married and...in Kansas City.

Thai Friend: Hey Man what r u doing on friday night?Otake care.
Me: Hi! Just got back from Europe, still jetlagged, going to gym. How've u been?
Thai Friend: we going to the elk club...again. Oh god!!
Me: HAHA! Don't really know what that is, but I feel sorry for u.
Thai Friend: Elk club is drunk old man with funny had.

I really do feel sorry for her, but still, the thought of her in an Elks lodge with a bunch of "drunk old man with funny had" made me LOL.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Home again, home again, jiggidy-jig!

Back to LA, after a few weeks in Rome and Paris. I've uploaded 48 pics of Rome, and I'll do Paris soon, too. It just takes awhile to resize them in Photoshop, since sometimes I get carried away with cropping and adjusting contrast levels. Goddamn, I feel low. Post-travel weltschmertz never gets any easier. In fact, it seems to get harder with every trip.

The loft is in dire need of a thorough autumn cleaning, but I just can't find the motivation to get anything done.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

This Election is "Special"

But aren't they all? I just returned from voting early in the Statewide Special Election. I'm leaving this weekend for Paris/Rome, so I won't be around on voting day. In case you live here and you're unaware, there are eleven touchscreen voting locations scattered throughout L.A. I went to the East LA County Regional Library, where there were six pollworkers with absolutely nothing to do. They were thrilled that I was there, and went over in detail the process for the Diebold touchscreen machines. I didn't have the heart to tell them I'd done this before. Anyway, they wanted me to tell all my friends to get out and vote early, too, so...here I am: get out and vote early. Failing that, please vote on November 8.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

What did I miss?

7 airports + 4 countries + 31 hours = cold foolishness. My last leg back to LAX was first-class, though: that helped. I'm back in the loft in Little Tokyo/Skid Row and in need of clean clothes, good food, and hardcore sleep. Today I'll start uploading photos from my trip into a new gallery on Buzznet.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Leaving Roatan

Since Sunday I've been staying with some great friends at the Inn of Last Resort, Roatan Island, Honduras. If you like diving or just want to sample some island life, I can't recommend this place enough. Tomorrow I leave Roatan, stopping in El Salvador on my way back to Guatemala City for one more night. I've logged seven dives since I've been here, including my first wreck, my first cave & swim-throughs, and my first night dive -- during which I encountered some leech-like creature that attached itself to my forearm and started sucking my blood. I think it was a bloodworm, but the divemaster didn't sound convinced. (Note to self -- start using a full-length wetsuit that covers both arms and legs.) I've encountered a host of interesting creatures along the way, the names of which I won't bore you with here, but rest assured I've tried to catalogue most of them in my dive log. All this glory comes at a price, however: I've got multiple cuts and scrapes on my arms and legs, popped blisters on my toes, and the skin on the front of my shoulders is broken open from the chafing of my BCD. In addition, I've got sand flea bites that look like mosquito bites and mosquito bites that look like table tennis balls under my skin. I've got reef rash on my left elbow and right ankle. Throw in some sunburn and a parrot bite, and I've had a good week. Honestly, I feel GOOD. 100% better than last week's bout with food poisoning. In fact, my condition reminds me of a Hamlin Garland poem I memorized when I was a kid:

"Do you fear the force of the wind,
The slash of the rain?
Go face them and fight them,
Be savage again.
Go hungry and cold like the wolf,
Go wade like the crane:
The palms of your hands will thicken,
The skin of your cheek will tan,
You'll grow ragged and weary and swarthy,
But you'll walk like a man!"

I'll fly like a man all the way back to L.A. this weekend. A very itchy man.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Stan/Guatemala

I've gotten several IMs and emails in the past few days inquiring about my location and whether or not I was affected by the floods and rains spawned by Hurricane Stan. I'm okay. My Saturday flights were cancelled, but I did make it out. I'm currently on the West End of the island of Roatan in Honduras. I flew in today after getting 2.5 hours of sleep last night -- I had to be at the airport in Guate at 0400 this morning after my last day of work in 4 Grados Norte. I feel like I have jetlag and I'm still in the same timezone. But after flying from Guate to Tegucigalpa, then to San Pedro Sula, then on to La Ceiba, and finally to Roatan, I've arrived safe, which is more than I can say for many back in Guatemala. I have dozens of photos that I took in the town of Santiago de Atitlan, on the shores of the lake that Aldous Huxley described as "the most beautiful lake in the world". I'll upload them to my Buzznet gallery when I return to Los Angeles next weekend -- pictures of markets, churches, Tzutujil children playing in the street or selling bracelets to tourists, Mayan women balancing impossibly large baskets on their heads. As I look at them now in my camera, I wonder if the faces I see are still there, if they haven't been buried by mud and water. I'm sad and I'm a little sick. I'm taking three different antiparasitics/antibiotics, which the doctor prescribed for me after learning that two different protozoa have invaded my digestive tract. The color of my piss is so saturated that it's almost green. It's the color of a highlighter marker. It looks like a yellow laser beam shooting out of my dick. But I'm okay. Thanks for asking.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

9/11 en Antigua, Guatemala

Today is September 11, 2005. Four years ago today I was woken up by a phone call from my father in Northern Virginia, informing me that while the World Trade Center had fallen due to an airliner hijacking, he and my mom were both safe. They had taken a flight to Washington Dulles from San Francisco on Sunday night. Three years ago today I was working in London. Walking back to my flat near Hyde Park I passed through Grosvenor Square and took photos of the wreaths, flowers and letters respectfully placed at the feet of the FDR and Eisenhower statues. Then I passed through the armed guard security check-point to get into the Mews behind the barbed wire-shrouded American Embassy, where I lived. Today I´m in Antigua, the colonial capital of Guatemala. I´m in an internet cafe on the west side of el Parque Central. This morning I followed a parade of school children marching through town, playing their instruments and dancing. I also found the following letter in my hotmail inbox -- not because I voted for Bush, but because I´m on Moore´s mailing list.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To All My Fellow Americans Who Voted for George W. Bush:

On this, the fourth anniversary of 9/11, I'm just curious, how does it feel?

How does it feel to know that the man you elected to lead us after we were attacked went ahead and put a guy in charge of FEMA whose main qualification was that he ran horse shows?

That's right. Horse shows.

I really want to know -- and I ask you this in all sincerity and with all due respect -- how do you feel about the utter contempt Mr. Bush has shown for your safety? C'mon, give me just a moment of honesty. Don't start ranting on about how this disaster in New Orleans was the fault of one of the poorest cities in America. Put aside your hatred of Democrats and liberals and anyone with the last name of Clinton. Just look me in the eye and tell me our President did the right thing after 9/11 by naming a horse show runner as the top man to protect us in case of an emergency or catastrophe.

I want you to put aside your self-affixed label of Republican/conservative/born-again/capitalist/ditto-head/right-winger and just talk to me as an American, on the common ground we both call America.

Are we safer now than before 9/11? When you learn that behind the horse show runner, the #2 and #3 men in charge of emergency preparedness have zero experience in emergency preparedness, do you think we are safer?

When you look at Michael Chertoff, the head of Homeland Security, a man with little experience in national security, do you feel secure?

When men who never served in the military and have never seen young men die in battle send our young people off to war, do you think they know how to conduct a war? Do they know what it means to have your legs blown off for a threat that was never there?

Do you really believe that turning over important government services to private corporations has resulted in better services for the people?

Why do you hate our federal government so much? You have voted for politicians for the past 25 years whose main goal has been to de-fund the federal government. Do you think that cutting federal programs like FEMA and the Army Corps of Engineers has been good or bad for America? GOOD OR BAD?

With the nation's debt at an all-time high, do you think tax cuts for the rich are still a good idea? Will you give yours back so hundreds of thousands of homeless in New Orleans can have a home?

Do you believe in Jesus? Really? Didn't he say that we would be judged by how we treat the least among us? Hurricane Katrina came in and blew off the facade that we were a nation with liberty and justice for all. The wind howled and the water rose and what was revealed was that the poor in America shall be left to suffer and die while the President of the United States fiddles and tells them to eat cake.

That's not a joke. The day the hurricane hit and the levees broke, Mr. Bush, John McCain and their rich pals were stuffing themselves with cake. A full day after the levees broke (the same levees whose repair funding he had cut), Mr. Bush was playing a guitar some country singer gave him. All this while New Orleans sank under water.

It would take ANOTHER day before the President would do a flyover in his jumbo jet, peeking out the widow at the misery 2500 feet below him as he flew back to his second home in DC. It would then be TWO MORE DAYS before a trickle of federal aid and troops would arrive. This was no seven minutes in a sitting trance while children read "My Pet Goat" to him. This was FOUR DAYS of doing nothing other than saying "Brownie (FEMA director Michael Brown), you're doing a heck of a job!"

My Republican friends, does it bother you that we are the laughing stock of the world?

And on this sacred day of remembrance, do you think we honor or shame those who died on 9/11/01? If we learned nothing and find ourselves today every bit as vulnerable and unprepared as we were on that bright sunny morning, then did the 3,000 die in vain?

Our vulnerability is not just about dealing with terrorists or natural disasters. We are vulnerable and unsafe because we allow one in eight Americans to live in horrible poverty. We accept an education system where one in six children never graduate and most of those who do can't string a coherent sentence together. The middle class can't pay the mortgage or the hospital bills and 45 million have no health coverage whatsoever.

Are we safe? Do you really feel safe? You can only move so far out and build so many gated communities before the fruit of what you've sown will be crashing through your walls and demanding retribution. Do you really want to wait until that happens? Or is it your hope that if they are left alone long enough to soil themselves and shoot themselves and drown in the filth that fills the street that maybe the problem will somehow go away?

I know you know better. You gave the country and the world a man who wasn't up for the job and all he does is hire people who aren't up for the job. You did this to us, to the world, to the people of New Orleans. Please fix it. Bush is yours. And you know, for our peace and safety and security, this has to be fixed. What do you propose?

I have an idea, and it isn't a horse show.

Yours,
Michael Moore

Friday, September 09, 2005

Katrina/Guatemala

The Red Cross can't accept my blood since last October I visited Chichén Itzá, a "malaria-risk" Mayan ruin in the Yucatan. My claret won't be clean (in theory) until 12 months from that date -- October 2005 is the earliest I can donate. However, since I'll be in Guatemala for the next few weeks, I imagine I'll have to wait another 12 months from now. I think anywhere outside Guatemala City, which I know I'll be venturing beyond, is tainted as well. WHA-temala? Yeah, it was a surprise for me, too. I've been back in the States for barely a week and I'm already off again. This time it's for work, but you better believe that I'll be mixing some pleasure in there, too.

I was going to write a long, boring blog about the government's lack of response to Katrina, but now I won't have time. However, I would like to share with you, dear reader, some of the things I've learned in the past week.


  • Over the past four and a half years, the traditional and essential wall separating Church and State in this country has been turned into a shower curtain. Thanks to Bush and his medieval policies, much of the world now views American Christianity as a wacky cult. Pat Robertson is currently cashing in on the Hurricane disaster relief, due to FEMA's official sponsorship of his corrupt Christian charity. Think Robertson is a stand-up guy doing God's work? Stop being an idiot, he's not. Read Max Blumenthal's September 7 piece in The Nation to learn why.

  • Bush Sr. had a policy that the U.S. shouldn't lose any more wetlands; Clinton also set tough policies on environmental protection for coastal wetlands. Bush Jr. repealed all those policies in favor of business interests, opening up 20 million acres for development. Read Molly Ivins's well-researched September 1 editorial from the Chicago Tribune to find out how much funding the Bush White House has cut from the Army Corps of Engineers budget and how much of the National Guard has been diverted to Iraq.

  • Bush told Diane Sawyer that no one "anticipated the levees would breach". Bullshit. Read this Scientific American article from October 2001 which leads with, "A major hurricane could swamp New Orleans under 20 feet of water, killing thousands. Human activities along the Mississippi River have dramatically increased the risk, and now only massive reengineering of southeastern Louisiana can save the city". Great graphic illustrations accompany detailed explanations of root causes and the only possible solution to the problem: rebuilding marshes to absorb high waters and reconnecting the barrier islands to protect the marshes.

  • Joseph Hughes has made a pictorial timeline for August 29-30. See what Dubya was doing while Americans were dying. Click the shit-eating grin below to watch our leader playing with guitars and birthday cakes in Southern California and Arizona.



  • I have to thank my Uncle Anthony in Hong Kong for bringing my attention to this, Keith Olbermann's scathing commentary on Michael Chertoff's idiocy. Click on the picture to play the QuickTime.

  • Speaking of great commentary, I can't resist linking to The Daily Show's hilarious piece on the two Michaels (Chertoff and Brown), aptly entitled "Meet the F**ckers". Click the picture to play video. (Thanks go out to OneGoodMove for posting both these last ones.)


And so, dear reader, I leave you for Central America. Please take care of the U.S. for me while I'm gone -- because, you know, our leaders aren't very good at that sort of thing.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Double your money

Last week I returned from a trip to Burgundy. If you're interested in images, check out my France 2005 gallery on Buzznet. It was a fantastic trip – I only wish that I could roll around in my nostalgia unimpeded. My mind dwells on the southern U.S.

While I was talking with my mom during a layover in Boston, my eye strayed to the TV set at the gate, tuned to CNN. I initially thought I was viewing footage from last December's tsunami, but Mom quickly filled me in. That was on Wednesday, August 31. I've spent the last four days in a high dudgeon. The more I learn about events that transpired post-Katrina, the more furious I become. More on that later. I'm through with feeling powerless to help, though. I just returned from Whole Foods Market, which doubled my donation to the Red Cross for Katrina victims. If you don't have one in your area, you can call the American Red Cross directly at 1-800-HELP-NOW or give through their website. They also accept donations of stock, airline miles, and even spare change via Coinstar machines.

Right now I'm off to give some blood, but I promise a rant later.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Things are different in France

This keyboard; for instqnce: I can hunt and peck for the correct keys but it takes me three times as long to type q simple sentence: So you must deal with the consequences qnd try to figure out whqt Iùm trying to say:

I am in Joigny; a très mignon (very cute) village in the northwest of Burgundy: The food/drink is stellar qnd the pace of life is slow: I am quartered with some gregarious qnd supergenial (very cool) friends in la Caisse d'Epargne; a hulking, century-old bank that is currently being renovated into a residence: we spend our hours eating; drinking; playing charades in the parlour; exploring the house (4 levels including a basement and a sub-basement-- I still havenùt seen every room); exploring the town, exploring the vineyards and surrounding countryside; and eqting qnd drinking even more: I am becoming familiqr with ordering both Kir and Pastis along with great beer and wine, and I'll be damned if I can ever remember having q better faux-filet (sirloin) than the one I savored last night in Auxerre:

You can expect to see scads of photos posted to my buzznet gallery (see left) upon my return to base camp L.A. at the start of Septeber:

Until then: The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful...

Friday, May 20, 2005

And the winner of the Best Religion Award goes to...

So we've been hearing all week about the American Gitmo guards who may or may not have flushed the Koran down the toilet as a means to break their Muslim prisoners. The latest is that the incident didn't occur, but the ICRC does attest to other abuses of the Muslim holy book. In response, violent anti-U.S. protests -- some resulting in multiple deaths -- have taken place in Afghanistan, Pakistan, even India. The Pentagon and the White House are blaming Newsweek for stirring up anti-American sentiment around the world. Nice try, guys. Foreign nationals in American military-run prisons have been beaten to death, physically tortured, sexually humiliated, and denied access to legal representation, without indictment or trial, for a few years now. The Bush administration has been wiping its ass with the Geneva Conventions regarding prisoners of war. None of this is a secret, and Newsweek is not to blame for any of that. But that's not my point. My point is the overwrought reaction to the news. Desecration of the Koran is punishable by death in several Islamic countries, including Afghanistan and Pakistan. Excuse me, DEATH? Newsflash, radical Islamists: it's a BOOK. Relax, okay?

And I'm not restricting this diatrabe to Islam. Ousted Georgia Chief Justice Roy Moore's ten commandments monument went on a national tour recently after he was ordered to remove it from his Supreme Court building. Masses of people lined up all over America to caress the granite slab, weep, and express indignation that their holy monument cannot legally be displayed in a government building. Hello, idiotic Christians? It's a ROCK. And you're wrong, this country wasn't founded on Christianity, it was founded on the grand principle of separation of Church and State so that citizens could practice any religion they like, or no religion if they prefer. The reason "the pilgrims" sailed to Massachusetts in the first place was to escape the dictatorial Church of England. And now you seem to think it's a good idea to impose your Christian monuments, books, and teachings on the rest of us. Back off, okay?

You know who gets my vote for Least Offensive Religion? The Buddhists. In March 2001 the Taliban blew up a bunch of Buddha statues in Afghanistan because Mullah Mohammad Omar deemed "false idols" an offense to Islam. These weren't ordinary graven images, though. A couple of them were the tallest Buddha images in the world, carved out of the living rock of cliffs in Bamiyan province almost 2,000 years ago. These sculptures were a page of world history and a part of our human cultural heritage. Thailand, Japan, India, France, Germany, Iran, Pakistan, Russia, the US, the UN, and and a host of other countries all appealed to the Taliban to no avail. As the demolition was taking place, however, I heard a Buddhist monk being interviewed on NPR. He joked that Gautama Buddha must be laughing in heaven right now -- all this fuss over a pile of rock!

It would do all religious fanatics well to examine his mature perspective. Everything is transient: monuments, books, statues, yes -- even American flags. To desecrate a physical object is not to desecrate the idea behind it. If you think it is, then perhaps you should ask yourself why you invest so much importance in a strip of cloth, or a printed page, or a carved rock. Because that's all they are. They are no more holy than any other object in this world, and certainly much less important than real human compassion and understanding.

And I'm sure that both Jesus and Mohammed would agree with Buddha on this point.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Redux: Travel, Old & New

My DNA kit has been received and its batch has been created. Which I think means that they've catalogued it in Houston but haven't yet mailed it to the University of Arizona for testing and analysis. AND I just found out that I'll be going to Paris and Rome in November with my family! *grinning from ear to ear*

***Searching through all the old shit stored in the overcrowded attic of my hotmail account, I sometimes come across noteworthy emails from my past, like the Saga of the Octopenis. I've decided to throw some of them up here because...well, because they make me feel nostalgic and they make me laugh; which is why I suppose I saved them in the first place. When I do this I preface the blog with the word "redux", and post the original date. ***

What follows is a letter that I sent out to friends and family on Tuesday, June 11, 2002 -- almost three years ago -- right before I moved to London to work on the 007 film. Sorry for the confusion, Tanya!

----------------------------------

POST COITUM OMNE ANIMAL TRISTIS EST

In other words, after an intense and eagerly anticipated moment, we often feel that we have missed something greater that remains just beyond our grasp. After spending a month exploring Kuala Lumpur, Hong Kong, Kyoto, Kamakura, Tokyo, and Phuket, these past seven days in Los Angeles haven't seemed real in comparison. I feel like my senses are dulled. I feel as if I've awoken from a rapidly fading perfect dream; like I came within a stone's throw of enlightenment and then turned around and walked away.

Milan Kundera spoke of the body as a ship and the soul as its crew. Most of the time the soul stays below decks because the vicissitudes of life can be likened to a rough storm. But every once in a while, on a rare clear day, the crew charges up and streams over the decks, shouting and singing in jubilation, and waving at the sky. I feel like my crew has been above decks for the past month.

My perspective has been stretched from one end of the horizon to the other. I learned that I am as insignificant as a speck. I am a parasite within a parasite on the back of a blue-green moth slowly circling a warm light bulb. I saw a goat kneeling on its front legs, its forehead to the ground, outside of Wat Phra Thong; mangy stray dogs biting the fleas on their backs; elephants flicking bamboo poles with their trunks -- all this I saw on the side of the road. I have seen black dolphins rounding off the waves next to my speed boat as it bobbed in the spinach-emerald waters off Khai Nok Island. I saw naked children playing football and teenage girls in school uniforms playing badminton. I saw beautiful people with no money overflowing with joy and smiles. I saw a corpulent French tourist in a tiny speedo get seasick and regurgitate into the cerulean waters off Koh Phi Phi Le. While I rode on the prow of a boat in the sun, I saw flat-bottomed thunderheads rolling through the firmament off to the north, where the sky came down to meet the sea. I have heard imams calling faithful Muslims to prayer while I threw fortune blocks in a Buddhist Wat. I visited the Gibbon Rehabilitation Project, where once-wild apes marred by humans can learn how to brachiate and survive in the forest once more. I have received a Thai massage while standing in front of the urinal in the bathroom of a bar in Phuket Town, wondering if this was normal protocol in Thai drinking establishments. I have seen sunsets worthy of Shakespearean sonnets. I helped four Thai men push a gas-drained car up the middle of a busy Phuket roadway at 11 o'clock at night -- or rather, they helped me. I have eaten durian and jackfruit, mangosteen and som tum; I lived on a diet of prawns, curry, tripe, octopus, raw chicken, squid, shark's fin and chicken feet. I caught a cold but ignored it.

I met people that I hope to remain friends with for the rest of my life. I visited places I hope to return to sometime in the near future. For now, I've posted a few photographs of my travels up on my website. Click to peruse Thailand, Japan, or Hong Kong:





In the last few days I've looked at my life here and seen nothing but a mesh of roots that grow too deep. I want to throw out my bed and sleep on the floor. I want to push my couch out the living room window. Its a good thing I'm moving to London in two days. It seems that there was once a golden lustre that surrounded my life in this city; a clear, pure aura pervading the beaches, bars, and hills. I can't see it anymore. Has it really disappeared or am I just suffering from post-vacation nostalgia? Perhaps the corona has moved on to Asia, along with the breathless crew of the ship of my body.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Ancestral Knowledge

Everyone you see everyday is your kin. Everybody alive on earth today is your distant relation. Only about 2,000 generations ago, our collective ancestor walked around what would one day become sub-Saharan Africa. About 10-20,000 years after that, a group of his progeny walked off the continent of our birth, perhaps pushed by the arid climate created by the ice age, and began our species' history of exploration. An early group walked to Australia along the expanded coastline of south Asia. Another group later walked up into the middle east. From there they multiplied and split -- some went further east and became the ancestors of Asians; after a sojourn in central Asia, others forged deep into the heart of the northeastern ice, eventually emerging south into the Americas; still others (the Cro-magnon people) took a circuitous route into the central Asian steppes, later heading westward to reach the dark and cold European forests where dwelt the Neanderthals, a very different human species.

How do we know all this? Archeology gives us clues, but the pivotal player here is our DNA. All the genetic markers carried by our ancestors are also carried by us. Our blood is laden with history.

The Genographic Project is now attempting to examine the DNA of 100,000 indigenous peoples over the next five years in an attempt to definitively map the great human migrations across the globe, and build a world family tree. I bought a Public Participation Kit from the National Geographic Society to submit my own DNA for testing and analysis. This weekend I swabbed, scraped, and sealed my samples in an envelope and sent them off. In a few weeks I should be able to log onto their website and learn something about my deep ancestry. I know it makes me a huge geek, but GODDAMNIT I love this stuff.

Click on a picture for the full commentary:











Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Greed

This morning I awoke to white smoke and an announcement from the Holy See: "Habemos Papa!" We have a Pope! Hooray! As for Latin America and Africa, home to half the world's Catholics and an out-of-control AIDS epidemic, respectively -- better luck next time, suckers! We got a conservative new pope from Germany who was once a Nazi! I say again, Hooray! Latin American Liberation Theology (people suffering under poverty and oppression should be helped) is OUT while old school Conservatism (endure hardship in this life while focusing on rewards in the afterlife) is IN! Even though 2.3 million Africans died of AIDS last year alone, they shouldn't use condoms to protect themselves and their loved ones from disease because prophylactics make Jesus cry. Oh, how the baby Jesus WEEPS about contraceptives in underdeveloped countries!

And all you Americans hoping the new pope would be more conciliatory and considerate to the 11,000 children who were molested by Catholic priests in this country -- well, tough! We got Joseph Ratzinger, a.k.a. "The Enforcer", who was in complete agreement with John Paul II about not blaming Cardinal Bernard Law, the Bostonian archbishop responsible for the molestor switcheroo and subsequent coverup. No apologies will be forthcoming, so quit your whining and redirect your anger towards Michael Jackson.

And if there are any women out there (reportedly, females make up about 50% of Catholics worldwide) hoping for some semblance of equality in this patriarchal church, you can forget about it! The Vatican doesn't need any of your input on doctrinal matters! And as for all you homosexuals -- just STOP asking for marriage because your entire life is a great big sinful lie! Except of course for homosexual priests who molest children. You guys were okay with JP2 and you'll be okay with Benedict the XVI, as well.

What does all this have to do with Greed? Not much. Not my greed anyway. But as I wrote in my first blog on the Seven Deadly Sins, I'm already resigned to living in Hell. I've already got my plot of fiery river-front land picked out. So whether I'm greedy or not doesn't really matter. What does matter is the fact that I'm going to have a lot of hypocritical Catholics as neighbors. People who thought they were doing the right thing. People who thought they'd end up inside the proverbial pearly gates. People who didn't believe that homosexuals were evil or that rich westerners should deny contraceptives to poor Africans, but obediently went to mass every Sunday and continued to donate money and resources to a church that hurts people. I'm not saying they have to follow my lead and go 88% atheistic, but they should at least stand up for what's right. If the man-made rules the Pope says you have to follow don't make sense anymore in today's world -- TELL him, for God's sake. Wait, scratch that. Tell him for humanity's sake.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Envy

Not really, no. I realize that I'm very fortunate and for that I'm thankful. I get to freelance in a non-corporate industry and occasionally take time off to smell the roses, as well as the lotus and cherry blossoms. I'm lucky enough to exist in this most fascinating of eras, when for the first time some of us can travel to the other side of the globe, across the wide oceans and vast deserts. I have the power to change my horizons as well as my perspectives. I have the leisure time to examine some of the important questions that our species has always pondered. In some cases, for the first time in history, the answers to those questions are within reach. For example, we believe with some assurance that everyone on earth is descended from a common male ancestor who lived in Africa approximately 60,000 years ago. But what happened after that? I just ordered a Public Participation Kit from the Genographic Project, a joint scientific venture by National Geographic and IBM. I'll sample and send in my DNA, eventually learning more about where and when my ancestors migrated and settled around the globe. Filling in some blanks while contributing to cultural preservation efforts and scientific understanding of the human journey. I'll update on buccal swabbing techniques when I receive the kit in the mail.

There is much for which I am exceedingly grateful. But to whom or what do I direct all this gratitude? Some questions just weren't meant to be answered...they can, however, be scored by an internet quiz:

You scored as atheism. You are... an atheist, though you probably
already knew this. Also, you probably have several people praying daily
for your soul.

Instead of simply being "nonreligious," atheists strongly believe in the
lack of existence of a higher being, or God.

atheism

88%

Buddhism

75%

Satanism

71%

Paganism

67%

Islam

54%

Judaism

42%

agnosticism

38%

Christianity

33%

Hinduism

13%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Lust

I'm a lean dog, a keen dog, a wild dog, and lone;
I'm a rough dog, a tough dog, hunting on my own;
I'm a bad dog, a mad dog, teasing silly sheep;
I love to sit and bay the moon, to keep fat souls from sleep.
 
I'll never be a lap dog, licking dirty feet,
A sleek dog, a meek dog, cringing for my meat,
Not for me the fireside, the well-filled plate,
But shut door, and sharp stone, and cuff and kick, and hate.

Not for me the other dogs, running by my side,
Some have run a short while, but none of them would bide.
O mine is still the lone trail, the hard trail, the best,
Wide wind, and wild stars, and hunger of the quest!

--Lone Dog, by Irene Rutherford McLeod, b. 1891

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Pride

a.k.a Vanity, the sin from which all others arise: guilty as charged. A few weeks ago I read a MySpace blog that really bugged me (This link sends you to my page, not hers). It displayed so much ignorance that I was forced to respond. Her blog title alone was fightin' words. My friend D*Nice once told me that arguing via the World Wide Web is futile because no one wins and both parties end up looking foolish. I still don't know whether or not I agree with this, but the reply I received several days later was too scornful and condescending for me to take the high road. The gauntlet had been thrown down, and my pride was pricked. What follows is one of my foolish and futile internet arguments. If you're a glutton for more sinfulness, you can find another one here. In both cases, the name of my nemesis is disguised because I don't have permission to reprint their writing and they're not here to defend themselves.
-----
[Original Blog of Sunday, January 30, 2005]

Democrats love america like OJ loved nicole

...if you're a Democrat or liberal, that is fine. just don't hide under the ruse that you love america.

i myself am Independent, there are some Dem ideology/policy i agree with, and some GOP ideology/policy i agree with.

but on the topic of Iraq, i have to side with the right. the left has done nothing but berate the war while begrudgingly saying "well... fine... free elections in Iraq would be a great thing... i guess..." (usually followed by a hasty "unless there is MASSIVE DEADLY VIOLENCE THAT DISRUPTS THE ELECTIONS OH THE QUAGMIRE!!!")

sometimes, i wonder if the democratic nat'l committee is the mouthpiece for al-queda.

we heard that afghanistan would never be able to hold free, successful elections. they did. congratulations hamid karzai.

we heard that the palestianian authority would never be able to hold free, successful elections. they did. congratulations mahmous abbas.

we heard that iraq would never be able to hold free, successful elections. they did. congratulations, people of iraq.

i am sorry so many in the world secretly hoped your innocent civilians would be killed in a massive outbreak of violence. and i feel sorrow for those were killed by suicide bombers. but i am very pleased to hear about iraq the model, now emerging in the middle east.
-----
From: Xopher
Date: Mar 4, 2005 11:22 PM

Hi. I hope you're not offended by me writing you out of the blue, but I think your blog of January 30 is a little bit ridiculous. I hope that you're joking about that "Democrats love America..." line. If you're not, then I would challenge you to quote any prominent, or even obscure, Democrat who has expressed the desire for violence during the Iraqi elections. You appear to be employing the Fox News technique: you claim without evidence that Democrats are actually saying things that you wish they would say. Which only makes me think you're not being honest when you state that you're an independent. You heard that Afghanistan, the Palestinian Authority, and Iraq would never be able to hold free, successful elections? Was that before or after the 1996 free, successful elections in the Palestinian Territories? Was it that evil Democratic National Committee who told you these things?

While it is good news that Afghanistan and Iraq have both held elections, there is more to democracy, freedom and stability than voting. The violence in Iraq continues apace, and large swaths of Afghanistan are still controlled by the same warlords who were loyal followers of the Taliban. In fact, democracy and reconstruction in that country are being seriously threatened by the swift rise of the drug trade, according to both the United Nations' Office on Drugs and Crime and the Bush administration's Office of National Drug Control Policy. Opium production, a staple crop now in every province, is at an all-time high.

In practice, democracy only takes hold when nurtured from within -- no matter how many elections are held. Lebanon could fast become the shining light for democracy in the Near East. Another good reason to look to Lebanon is because their yearnings for sovereignty involve ejecting an occupying power: this could be an ominous forshadowing for sovereignty movements Iraq & Afghanistan.

I apologize for the length of this message, but I just wanted to point out to you that no American in their right mind (Democrats included) would actually WANT more violence in Iraq. Like you, I am neither Republican nor Democrat...but I think we should be fair to both, on all issues.
-----
From: xxxx
Date: Mar 8, 2005 6:40 PM

my blog title was facetious.

the reason i feel the way i do is because SO many democrats were SO vocal about how iraq would never be able to hold elections. same with afghanistan. but the aftermath of the afghan elections?

nearly ignored. read charles krauthammer's "miracle begets yawn" in the dec 10 2005 issue of washington post (page A37). or william safire's "the afghan miracle" on october 6 2004.

however... you cannot deny that had the afghan election broken out in mass violence as the insurgents promised, that everyone would be condemning it and (ultimately) blaming bush.

as for the PA election of mahmoud abbas (i like to quote to make more of an impact): "You heard that Afghanistan, the Palestinian Authority, and Iraq would never be able to hold free, successful elections? Was that before or after the 1996 free, successful elections in the Palestinian Territories?

you should've told that to:

steven erlanger in the 12/29 edition of the NYTimes, section A, page 3, column 1, Conal Urquhart in Jerusalem, in the 12/28 UK's paper the Guardian page 13, Khaled Abu Toameh in the 12/22 Jerusalem Post, Section: news, pg 2.

...and that's just 3 i grabbed from a recent research paper of mine that i had by my desk.

i feel the way i do because i concetrate very much on the area. i'm a poli sci major. i am also well-versed in islam, and many early islamic scholars (such as ibn khaldun - the reason i mention that is you cannot gain an understanding of a region without also knowing its history)... i know the middle east/middle eastern events going back to pre-Islamic arabian civilization.

if i simply hated democrats (and i take offense to that, by the way, the late senator paul wellstone was a family friend) i would be bashing them over a ton of things. or quoting anne coulter.

i am independent, but something about the disappointment in the voices of many democrats when having to discuss middle eastern elections, was very unsettling to me. not that the GOP doesn't unsettle me as well, but there is a difference when one is actually HOPING for harm to befall on our troops (example: the democrats' "protest vote" against more money for troops in iraq... if one was truly concerned, i have a hard time believing one could honestly vote to render parts of their electorate vulnerable). honestly, when i say "democrats," i don't think i mean the moderates or even the heavily left-of-center. i usually am referring to the far-left extremists who've hijacked the party.

xxxx
-----
From: Xopher
Date: Mar 15, 2005 9:41 PM

Hi, xxxx. I apologize for the delayed response, but I wasn't online for most of last week. I had hoped that you were being facetious with your blog title, as well as with some of your other statements (wondering if DNC = al-Qa'ida mouthpiece; Dems loving America = a ruse; implying that Democrats secretly hoped innocent civilians would be killed in a massive outbreak of violence, etc.).

Thanks for the article recommendations. While I agree with both Krauthammer and Safire that free elections anywhere in the Near East are a positive development to be lauded, the premise that they're miraculous is laughable. What's so miraculous about the armed forces of a rich, powerful country (what some would call the world's last superpower) routing the Taliban militia within 100 days, installing a government and subsequently holding elections?

Krauthammer goes on to state that liberals are now complaining about poppies, and that this is merely a case of 'dog bites man' news. It's not just liberals, however, and it's not the same old poppy story. As I said in my previous message, even Bush's O.N.D.C.P. acknowledges that opium production is at an all-time high -- accounting for 60% of the Afghan economy. This is a 239% increase in the poppy crop since the Taliban was driven from Kabul. Antonio Costa, exec. director of the U.N.O.D.C., said that "The fear that Afghanistan might degenerate into a narco-state is slowly becoming a reality. Opium cultivation, which has spread like wildfire... could ultimately incinerate everything: democracy, reconstruction and stability."

Please understand that I'm not lamenting the departure of the Taliban (though they still run much of the hinterland) or disrespecting the courage of candidates and voters in Afghani elections; I just think we should hold off on the self-congratulatory circle jerk for awhile.

While I don't deny that had violence marred the elections I (and many others) would have held Bush partly responsible, that doesn't imply that I (and many others) wished for bloodshed. There is already a mountain of failed policy for which Bush is to blame. His detractors don't need any more evidence, especially at the cost of American lives. His Iraqi adventure has drawn vital money, troops, and supplies from the rebuilding of Afghanistan and the hunt for al-Qa'ida. I am reminded now of Saint-Exupéry's quote from The Little Prince: "Men have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." I doubt Bush, who admittedly hates reading (especially about policy), ever read any Saint-Exupéry. Nevertheless, he shares the burden of responsibility for the direction of democracy in Afghanistan.

I can't help but notice that you begged the question when answering my challenge to "quote any prominent, or even obscure, Democrat who has expressed the desire for violence during the Iraqi elections". In response, you stated that "SO many democrats were SO vocal about how iraq would never be able to hold elections". If there were that many and they were that vocal, their quotes shouldn't be that hard to find.

Regarding the three articles used in reference to your research paper, none of them refuted my point, which was that I hadn't heard anyone in the media saying that Palestinian elections could never be held. The authors confirmed the sundry difficulties (including voter apathy) facing Palestinians elections, especially in Jerusalem, but none stated that "the PA would never be able to hold free, successful elections".

If Senator Wellstone was a family friend, then you have my condolences. However, you shouldn't have been offended by anything in my message. I never said that you "simply hated Democrats" (your quote), I only questioned what you wrote about them in your blog (re-read my first paragraph for a summary). Actually, now that I look over what you wrote again, it does sound like bashing. By the way, you have my thanks for leaving Anne Coulter out of the discussion.

In your last paragraph, you still appear to believe that Democrats were "HOPING" for harm to befall our troops; nothing could be further from the truth. The protest vote you cite as evidence was not a protest against funding the troops, only against the way in which that $87 billion would be spent. The Democrats in question wanted some of that money to be a loan to Iraq, while most other members of Congress wanted it to be a gift, leaving the burden on the U.S. taxpayers. Had that bill not passed, another one would have been crafted with a different spending layout -- the troops would still have been supported. Perhaps that other, unrealized bill would have allocated even more funds to body armor. Incidentally, Bush threatened to veto said bill had $10 billion of the funds been allocated in the form of a loan. Using his own logic, he was thereby threatening to not support our troops. By the way, there was plenty of high-grade body armor available on the market in the spring of 2003 -- many soldiers' families purchased it themselves. Why wasn't it bought by the government right from the start? Why didn't the Pentagon send the troops to Iraq with proper protection in the first place? Did Bush and Rummy not want to support our troops?

I laughed when you wrote that "far-left extremists" have hijacked the Democratic party because I feel the opposite is true. In my opinion Kerry -- their candidate of choice -- was a milquetoast, meandering, stodgy windbag whose position on Iraq (on many issues, actually) wasn't all that different from Bush's. And he was the face of the mainstream Democratic Party. Even Clinton was Centrist, considering his economic and social welfare agendas. The last president who had a left-leaning domestic policy was Nixon (he also successfully engaged China and the Soviet Union, the opposite approach of Reagan & Bush Jr. regarding their own percieved evil enemies). It was even known then as the "liberal consensus". Weird, eh? If Kucinich had been nominated by his party last year I'd have to agree with you, but that wasn't the case. I also happen to believe that the Neoconservatives and to a lesser extent, the Religious Right, have hijacked the Republican party. But maybe that's just me.

Anyway, I know it's hard to convey tone in email, but I want to reiterate that none of this is an attack on your background knowledge. I'm glad you take history into account and are familiar with Ibn Khaldun, though I prefer reading Khalil Gibran or Omar Khayyam. While I'm neither a poli sci major nor a Near East scholar like you, I did live there for two formative years as a child and came away enriched and fascinated. Apart from its oil, it's a long-neglected part of the world with which all westerners, Left & Right, need to come to terms.

Xopher
-----
[I'm still waiting for a reply...]

Monday, April 11, 2005

Sloth

I am a lazy man, and readily admit that I'm guilty of sloth. Instead of doing actual work I've been playing around on the internet, and I've come across two cool sites.

Sloth project #1. Surf to maps.google.com and type in your home or work address. Notice that when the map appears you can pan and scroll around without waiting for the page to reload. Cool, huh? But it gets cooler. Click the "satellite" link in the upper right. Now continue to pan around or zoom in & out. Let the malingering begin!

Sloth project #2. Surf to Gone2TheDogs.com, click on the link on the right that says, "WHAT DOG ARE YOU?" and answer the ten questions. Turns out that I'm a Pharaoh Hound, so named because of the breed's resemblence to Anubis, the jackal-headed ancient Egyptian god of death & the underworld. Sounds cool, but their looks don't always live up to their regal & divine name.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Anger

The Washington Post reported yesterday that Zalmay Khalilzad has been named by President Bush to take over from John Negroponte as U.S. Ambassador to Iraq. Before this, the article mentions, he was the U.S. Special Envoy and Ambassador to his native Afghanistan. There is no mention in the article, however, of Khalilzad's past prior to 2001.

In 1998 Khalilzad, along with his Neoconservative colleagues at the Project for the New American Century (Donald Rumsfeld, Elliott Abrams, Dick Armitage, John Bolton, Richard Perle and, of course, Paul Wolfowitz), signed a letter to President Clinton demanding military action against Saddam Hussein in Iraq, "to end the threat of weapons of mass destruction against the U.S. or its allies". Always with the WMDs, these guys. As I've discussed in a previous blog, the avowed aim of this group, which has now overwhelmed the leadership of the Republican party, is to intervene and remake the rest of the world in the image of the U.S., unilaterally and with military force if necessary. Which to me sounds more like Neocolonialism or Neoimperialism than traditional Conservatism.

During the Clinton presidency Khalilzad was a paid advisor to Unocal, the oil company that was trying to build a pipeline through Afghanistan. Remember the scene in Fahrenheit 9/11 that showed Unocal giving flown-in Taliban officials the VIP treatment in Texas? Khalilzad was part of the U.S. contingent trying to woo them with a two billion dollar pipeline deal. While human rights organizations were blasting the Afghani warlords for their repressive attitudes toward women and religious freedom, Khalilzad defended these gangsters and pushed for the U.S. to officially recognize their regime, something which no other country in the world would do save Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, and The U.A.E. Khalilzad wrote of his new buddies: "The Taliban do not practice the anti-US style of fundamentalism practiced by Iran. We should ... be willing to offer recognition and humanitarian assistance and to promote international economic reconstruction. It is time for the United States to re-engage." In December of 1998, after the U.S. embassy bombings, Unocal was forced to withdraw from the Afghan pipeline consortium. In other words, who cares how bad these guys are? As long as they don't bomb us, we'll give them millions of dollars and make them our business partners.

Prior to that, Khalilzad worked with Paul Wolfowitz at the State Department, where he "successfully pressed the Reagan administration to provide arms -- including shoulder-fired Stinger missiles -- to anti-Soviet resistance fighters in Afghanistan" (The Washington Post, 11/23/01). These resistance fighters were the mujahideen. The same mujahideen that eventually became, oh nothing, just a group of bitter assholes who called themselves the TALIBAN. Ever hear of 'three strikes and you're out', Zalmay? Now, some may argue that this aid was a necessary evil at the time, given the fact that the Soviets had invaded Afghanistan and we were in the middle of a cold war. The U.S. is not guilt-free in that affair, however. The Soviets always claimed they were fighting against a secret involvement in Afghan affairs by the U.S., a claim which was denied by the latter until Zbigniew Brzezinski, in a July 1998 interview with French magazine Le Nouvel Observateur, rather proudly admitted that the CIA had been giving aid to the Afghans a full six months before the Soviet invasion: the U.S. was happy to play its part in giving the U.S.S.R. its own Vietnam.

What does all this add up to? It means that the Neoconservative element at the head of our government is shameless. It means that they will continue to promote from within no matter how wrong or stupid or dangerous or short-sighted the promotees are.

In case you couldn't tell, it also means that I'm angry.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Gluttony, Part II: The Gourmand Strikes Back

Yesterday I met Shera on Melrose for brunch. We were both an hour late because of the damned DST change. Losing an hour of sleep truly vexes me. This was my second attempt to enjoy a meal at Crepe To Go, and will most likely be my last. I much prefer Acadie in Santa Monica...too bad it's far away on the west side. CTG's gimmick of naming their crepes after movie stars (I had the curry-and-sausage Bruce Lee) is cute but doesn't make up for dry crepes and smoothies over-packed with ice. I can't understand why Shera commutes all the way down from the Valley into Hollywood every weekend for the Marilyn Monroe. She always tells the Japanese proprietor to make her crepe extra crispy with just a little Nutella, and he never listens. She's friends with him anyway. When we left, I wanted a boba to wash the taste of the bad smoothie away and he told us there was a boba joint down the street next to the "bonn-dodge store". Uh, okay. We walked west looking for one of the several stores on Melrose that could easily pass as a bondage store, thinking that's what he meant. Then Shera spotted a VON DUTCH store on the north side of the street, with a Crazy Boba next door. Ain't Engrish grand?

Later, Jon came downtown and we picked up some imagawayaki from Mitsuru Cafe on our way to Daikokuya for the best ramen in L.A. Unfortunately, they're now temporarily closed on Sundays so we doubled back to Weller Court for Yakitori Kosiji, one of my new favorites in the 'hood. It's not as energetic as Kokekkoko and the set menu doesn't include hearts, gizzards and liver, but it's got more variety (with Kobe beef and pork-wrapped asparagus instead of the chicken entrails), it's delicious, and the atmosphere is relaxed and more refined. I finished my weekend with a bar of OCUMARE, another variety of Chocovic's "Unique Origin" line. This one is pure unmixed Venezuelan chocolate, with strong hints of tobacco, cedar and dried plum. I'm not talking about the taste of second-hand smoke; I mean that whiff of fresh tobacco you get when you open a new pack of cigarettes. Mix that "perfumed aroma" with "tones of exotic wood, nuts and dried fruit as well as spicy nuances," and you've got yourself some 71% cacao Ocumare. My quest for good chocolate is expanding, and I feel that it may soon lead me to Teuscher and Debauve & Gallais. $32 may seem a bit steep for an 8 oz. box of champagne truffles, (or in the case of the latter, $115 for a 1.32 lb box of "Pistoles Saveur" -- 99% cacao!), but when one is a glutton on an investigative mission to pursue the highest form of Epicurean pleasure, what's a few dollar bills? Okay, time for lunch!

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Gluttony

Sometimes I find myself pondering my relation to the 7 deadly sins. I readily admit guilt in all the sins of incontinence, so I'll one day be residing in one of (or perhaps all of) the upper four circles of Dante's Inferno. And that's actually not so bad. I'm averse to sins of violence and malice, so I don't think I'll be forced into real estate below the river Styx. You see, In Hell, that's like living on the wrong side of the proverbial tracks. The uppermost layers are much more pleasant. I'll have interesting neighbors with whom I can commiserate; we get to watch the pennant race in the Vestibule of the Futile; and we can poke fun at the bloody fools across the river. It's kind of like my current situation: "Yeah, it sucks being in the U.S. right now...but at least I don't live in a red state!"

Last night I ate dinner with my Thai friends and this morning I suffered the after effects of Gluttony. Puki cooked and as always, it was delicious. As always, the copious amounts of chili melted my internal organs and forced humors to the surface...tears squirted from my eyes and my skin flushed beet red. The Gewürztraminer wine I bought specifically to counter the spice didn't help at all. So be it. I finished off the nuclear feast with a slab of delicious taro-flavored cake leftover from Niki's birthday and, after I drove home, an entire bar of Valrhona chocolate. Speaking of godfodder (the scientific name of the cacao tree, so dubbed by the Swedish naturalist Linnaeus, is Theobroma Cacao -- which translates from the Greek to "food of the gods"), right now I'm finishing off a bar of GUARANDA varietal from Ecuador (71% cacao). It's got a "perfumed aroma with fruity, acid notes and floral tones of acacia honey, with milky and exotic wood nuances". Yes, I'm a chocolate fiend. One more reason to find me guilty of gluttony.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

New Buzz

I've spent most of my online time in the past week and half updating my photoblog at Buzznet. New stuff includes: more galleries; many new photos have been added to the London, Thailand, Portugal, Prague, Cambodia, Paris, Amsterdam, and Holga galleries; older photos from those and other galleries re-uploaded at a higher resolution; different gallery themes and header images. I'm not yet finished with the revamp but my tax preparation procrastination is getting sad. I've got to get crackin' on that business.

I also started work back at Morgan Creek this week, on this movie. I may be there for a month or so. I'm not passionate about it, but it'll help propel me into the future, and my next retirement. I seem to swing from one retirement to the next, like Tarzan on a vine. Last Sunday I went back to the Body Worlds exhibit at the Science Center. I think I liked the first round of bodies better -- there seemed to be more interesting poses and body types. But this time there was a hands-on section where I got to pick up a real brain and a liver. The brain was smaller and heavier than I'd imagined.

This week has also been interesting on the female front. There haven't been any developments to speak of, but lots of internal ruminations. I won't go into it now, but there are some issues I need to work through.

Okay, before I start work on my taxes I'm going to power through some more scans for Buzznet. Don't make me do all this work in vain! To borrow a phrase from my friend Caleb, who runs TheLaptopTraveler.com, I'll like you better if you visit Xopher.buzznet.com.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Birthday weekend

Friday I went to the Lakers' game: these guys suck. A night at the Staples Center is always fun, though, and my friend Jon almost put the smackdown on an incredibly annoying Pistons' fan sitting next to us. Saturday was my birthday: I went to Kokekokko for dinner with a new friend. They'd run out of hearts, gizzards, skin, and liver so we only got to eat the boring parts.

Sunday morning I got to attend an Asian Film Foundation screening of Stephen Chow's new film, Gong Fu (International English title: Kung Fu Hustle). The U.S. poster art is ridiculous and the trailer isn't all that seductive either, but ignore them both and go see this movie when it's released nation-wide in late April. I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard in a movie theater, and the kung fu was top-notch. For me, this movie cements Chow's reputation as the worthy successor to Jackie Chan. Stephen Chow has been starring in mo lei tau ("slapstick" or "makes no sense") comedies in Hong Kong since the early eighties and began directing his own successful films about a decade after that: the top four boxoffice earners in Hong Kong in 1992 were all Chow vehicles. He is arguably Hong Kong's biggest star and Asia's highest paid actor. Never heard of him? I'm not surprised. His only U.S. release was Shaolin Soccer (a.k.a. Siu lam juk kau), (2001). Here's where this blog gets nasty.

Disney-owned Miramax acquired the U.S. distribution rights to both this film and Zhang Yimou's Hero (Ying xiong) in 2002 and proceeded to sit on both films for two years. There were rumors that the Weinstein brothers delayed Hero's release because they didn't want it to compete in the Oscars with some of their own productions, such as Gangs of New York and Chicago, but they also believed the films were "too Chinese" to achieve any commercial success in the West. They tinkered with both pictures extensively: dubbing English dialogue, cutting scenes, adding western soundtracks, and holding multiple audience test screenings. Finally, Quentin Tarantino himself convinced Miramax that Hero (which by this time had broken box-office records across Asia) was actually a good film and should be released intact. Miramax still wanted a hook, so they asked Tarantino if they could attach his name to it. It was subsequently released here as "Quentin Tarantino presents Hero" even though he had nothing to do with it, and it was still cut down to 1 hour 38 minutes. Shaolin Soccer didn't fare nearly as well -- it only got a limited release as a poorly dubbed print, and was edited from 112 minutes to 80 minutes. Even so, it received positive reviews: an outstanding and extremely rare average rating of 100% on RottenTomatoes.com.

Alienated by Miramax, Stephen Chow has taken his latest offering to Sony Pictures Classics for American distribution, but that's no guarantee of non-intervention. We'll have to wait until April to find out how Sony treats Kung Fu Hustle. Until then, go rent the uncut Shaolin Soccer or any other Chow film and enjoy the mo lei tau!



After the movie/moderated discussion, Jon, Kama and I drove to Venice. We had tea and cakes in the garden at Jin Patisserie, another westside gem.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Myspace Migration

Today is my last day at Morgan Creek...for now. I just returned from lunch at Echigo (I could write an entire blog on this place), and I'm in the process of rendering my final shots and cleaning up my desk space. Not a huge job, considering I've only worked here for a little over a month. Today I've also finished setting up this blogspot site. All the posts you see south of this one were originally written on my Myspace Blog. Over the past few weeks, however, I've grown to admire my friend Kapooch's weblog so much that I decided to migrate over here myself. (Thanks to Kapooch, as well, for aiding me with my Blogspot html question. My site is now the doppelgänger of hers.) I finally canceled my old Earthlink service and pointed my domain name to this site, so as of now www.NineDragons.net should lead you here. The result of all these online hijinks? A consolidation of my online presence: less loose ends, less unused threads dangling from the worldwide web.

Okay, I can't stop thinking about my fantastic lunch. If you live anywhere near the wesside and enjoy sushi, you owe yourself a lunch at Echigo. The lunch special, featuring the chef's choice of 6 servings of buttery fish on tiny beds of warm rice is only $11. Come early, though, and I would avoid Fridays. This joint is no secret and the overworked waitresses will close off the line earlier than the 14:00 cutoff if it gets too long.

Monday, February 21, 2005

I don't got your back

From the New York Times, 18 February, 2005:

"The People's Republic of China," Mr. Rumsfeld said, "is a country that we hope and pray enters the civilized world in an orderly way without the grinding of gears and that they become a constructive force in that part of the world and a player in the global environment that's constructive."

The hubris of this myopic fool continues to amaze me. China is the oldest living civilization on the face of the earth. It is a country with 3,500 years of written history -- and for most of that era China was outpacing the West in artistic and scientific developments; a country that, while slightly smaller in size than the U.S., boasts more than four times as many people; a country whose GDP has quadrupled since 1978 and is set to overtake our own within ten years; a country that now exhibits a sometimes alarming growth in nationalism; a country whose naval fleet will be larger than that of the U.S. within a decade; a country which Dummy Rummy writes off as if it were living in the Bronze Age. How very "constructive" of him.

Regarding Europe in 1914, historian Barbara Tuchman wrote that, "like the Visigoths for the later Romans, [Germany felt for England] a contempt combined with the newcomer's sense of inferiority." Germans at the time were, in the words of Thomas Mann, "the most educated, law-abiding, peace-loving of all peoples, [who] deserved to be the most powerful, to dominate, to establish a 'German peace'". Many Americans, Rumsfeld apparently included, now feel exactly the same way about their own fatherland. Though I doubt that an inferiority complex is to blame, the insolence of a smaller, newer country toward a potentially more powerful, older one could be viewed unkindly by future historians, to say the least. Look at what the end result of the German ego was.

Most people have had a friend at one time in their lives who liked to pick fights, especially if he knew his posse was behind him. I can't remember how many times in high school and college I would hear the phrase "You got my back?" right before one of my cohorts would yell something insulting and stupid to a complete stranger at a party or after a lacrosse game. Of course I defended my friends, but that was in a different time, when blind loyalty outweighed logic and reason. Not anymore. If my Secretary of Defense wants to insult other peoples and cultures, I can't stop him. I can, however, stick my hands in my pockets and declare myself uninvolved. The world is my country, you small-minded imbecile. If you continue with this "Old Europe" and "Uncivilized China" crap, don't look to me if, when you visit Asia later this year, you get the cold shoulder.



Your twin cobra fist notwithstanding, I doubt you can take on 1.3 billion offended people by yourself, even if you do have that village idiot from Texas behind you. If more of your "friends" called you out on your idiotic insults you might be saved some embarrassment, but I don't see that happening. I guess the moral of my story is this: if you run off at the mouth like a drunken frat boy, you have no right to complain to your peops if you catch a black eye.

Friday, February 11, 2005

KARATE FIGHTERS ONLY

I watch a lot of kung fu movies, as you can probably tell from my movie list. One of the plot singularities of these films that I love the most is when one guy is like, "Hey Holmes, I just learned a new fighting style" and his buddy goes, "Oh? Cool, let me try it", and they just go have a fight. Oh, nothing, just a kung fu fight in the courtyard or outside the hut or wherever. No big deal. Just to test out the technique, to see how it fares. I love how it's just a normal thing for them. Shit like that doesn't happen enough in the real world.

Every once in awhile my life turns into a movie, if only for a fleeting moment. On Sunday I was cruising around my hood with Chef Mel with our Holgas in tow. As soon as we step outside of my building we get accosted by a homeless woman with chicken pox and a handful of disposeable lighters. At least she said she had chicken pox. I was skeptical, but backed up anyway. She did have an incredibly thick lisp, though. Even though we continued walking while apologizing, and struck the head-shaking-with-hands-in-the-air pose (the universal signal for "You're not getting any money from me"), she continued stalking us, relating her chicken pox story and holding out her lighter-filled hands. Needless to say, it was extremely awkward. She reminded me of the beggars in Shanghai: some of them would follow me for blocks, supplicating and trying to hold my arms the whole time. Not in a threatening way, mind you -- at first I thought I was being targeted for a pickpocketing, but I was wrong -- they just don't have anything better to do and figure that eventually, to make them go away, I would give up a few yuan. But I digress.

Our escape route from Chicken Pox Woman led us behind the Japanese Cultural Center. I knew there was a cute little garden back there that I thought might offer some prime photo opportunities. As we speedwalked up to the gate of the garden, I was vaguely aware that there was a kid standing there. There were people all over the place actually, which isn't out of the ordinary for a cultural & community center, but this kid was standing right at the gate, just lounging. Like a sentry, or a GATEKEEPER. And just as I approach he sort of comes to life and goes, "Only karate fighters are allowed inside". I was completely dumbstruck. Did my life just turn into a movie? Was this some kind of challenge? What's going on? Is this guy asking to try my kung-fu right out here in the open, in my own hood? In MY OWN HOOD? This kid was like 12 and he was wearing thick spectacles; his slight paunch aside, he reminded me of a 12-year-old version of myself. My mind raced -- could a 12-year-old me beat up a 30-year-old me? Depends on how good his kung fu is. Does he know Drunken Praying Mantis Style? I sized him up -- he was scrupulously avoiding eye contact. Hard to tell what his technique is. Dangerous to try to read a book by its cover. I thought of looking at Mel to see if she comprehended the situation better than I, but what if he launched his attack while my back was turned? It was way too crazy.

Finally, I spoke. "Oh, really? Karate fighters only, huh?" I was stalling for time.

"Yeah. Well, you can come in the garden, but you have to stay out of the building because blah blah blah". I didn't even get the reason because as I looked down where he pointed, I saw through the basement windows a room full of little kids, each one wearing a gi. It was all becoming clear to me. There was some kind of competition going on. That's why all the people were milling about in the plaza behind me. That's why some were wearing track suits and slippers. Why some kids were carrying trophies. Ahhh, soooooo. The moment devolved back into real life. The heightened reality dissolved. My life as a movie ended. It's a good thing, too, seeing as how I don't know the first thing about martial arts except for what I've seen in the movies. I would have had to fake the funk with The Gatekeeper, all while trying to keep my Holga undamaged, and hoping the resulting ruckus wouldn't draw the attention of Chicken Pox Lady. Which would have been completely different, and would have made for a really memorable Sunday afternoon.

Reality bites sometimes.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Thai Yo

I'm not talking about the sushi joint on Franklin.

A few weeks ago I posted that I still hadn't heard from Yo in Phuket and that I was worried: I neglected to post up when I DID finally hear from her on January 9 and that she's okay. (Thanks for asking, Harbour).

"I'm safe. I'm not get hurt  but my car downed in the see and can not fix it any more.I'm so sad for the big wave .It come so fast . In 10 minutes every thing gone. So ... Bangtao beach cottage damaged . Every one there get hurt , but it not to much. I hope every thing at here will be going on the good way.


Any way , How are you ? and where are you now? . What are you doing ? Do you happy in your life? I 'm sure you happy in your life.  Chris !  I don't know when I can meet you again maybe not . because like now at here not seam befor . I think you don't want to come here again .


Thank you to worry about me and I'm so happy to hearing from you. Take care of your self every thing in the world will be change or time .


Bye for now.


Yo."