Putting the "ick" in Maverick

I grow weary of your pertinacity, America. Perhaps I've focused too much on Sarah Palin in recent posts, assuming that the potential but very real danger of an obdurate Creationist cretin inhabiting the most important office in the world could persuade you to think twice about the Republican ticket. Here then is an argument against the vintage veteran himself.

I have heard conservatives state that they are voting for McCain because he was a war hero. I assume then that these same conservatives must have voted enthusiastically for John Kerry in 2004, since Bush Junior's military service history is truly risible. McCain's record, however, lacks any of the distinguishing characteristics of Kerry's (or Powell's, or Eisenhower's, or George H.W. Bush's for that matter); he was known not for being an ace Navy pilot, but as a spoiled, drunken, gambling carouser who graduated 5th from the bottom of his class at the Naval Academy and used his flyboy image to get laid. He crashed 3 planes, not including the one that was shot down over Hanoi or the infamous Forrestal incident, during which he retired to the "ready room" and watched on closed-circuit TVs as over a hundred of his ship mates fought and died bravely to fight the fire that started when his A-4 bomber was accidentally struck by a Zuni rocket. He was tortured into confessing American military information in Vietnam while other POWs he served with not only never confessed but attempted escape, and were punished harshly for their patriotic intransigence.

America, please look into this investigative article by Tim Dickinson at Rolling Stone. If the only things you know about John McCain's history come from his campaign or Fox News, then you owe it to yourself and to future generations to look at the other side of this coin that you value so highly.

If you support McCain because you support everything that the current administration has done for our country (McCain voted in support of Bush 95 percent of the time last year), or if you want Roe v. Wade overturned (which he lists as one of his stated goals on his website), then you should vote for John McCain without regret. His military record alone, however, does not even remotely qualify him for the office of president.

When Atheists Attack

Dear America,

I'm relieved to see that you're finally beginning to express some trepidation about a "Palin-McCain Administration" (her words, not mine). If you're still leaning in the Republican direction, however, I'd encourage you to read this Newsweek article by Sam Harris. Yes, he is one of the so-called New Atheists, and I know how you feel about them apostates, both old and new. But please, look past his identity and just take note of what he has to say. After all, you don't have to renounce your belief in a god to listen to reason. And it is reasonable to expect a dangerous outcome for our country, indeed the world, if someone as inexperienced and self-righteous as Sarah Palin should happen to be hiked the nuclear football.

Here is the link to the article in its entirety.

"Ask yourself: how has "elitism" become a bad word in American politics? There is simply no other walk of life in which extraordinary talent and rigorous training are denigrated. We want elite pilots to fly our planes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to represent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive years of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to vest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun any and all standards of excellence. When it comes to choosing the people whose thoughts and actions will decide the fates of millions, then we suddenly want someone just like us, someone fit to have a beer with, someone down-to-earth—in fact, almost anyone, provided that he or she doesn't seem too intelligent or well educated." -- Sam Harris

Palin: wrong woman, wrong message

Dear America,

What's wrong with you? A new national poll has put Obama and McCain in a dead heat, 42% to 42%. Time is running out for you to wake the hell up. Oh, I watched a little of the Republican Convention; I can see the appeal of all those red, white and blue balloons. But it'll take more than helium to turn this ship around. And what's with McCain now claiming to be the "candidate of change"? Sir, you cannot wear that hat when you agree with the current administration on nearly 100% of its policies, including the failed and foolish ones (100% in 2008, 95% in 2007). In fact, McCain sided with Bush more than any other Republican in the Senate in 2007. This is the "candidate of change"? What happened to the Straight Talk Express of yesteryear? What happened to "the Maverick"? Where be your defiance now? Your ability to speak truth to power? Gone, like all my respect for you when you embraced Jerry Falwell's chubby flanks after rightfully calling him an "agent of intolerance". Crash and burn, eh, Mav?

America, please peruse this article on Sarah Palin from Thursday's L.A. Times, by Gloria Steinem (Yes, she was an idiot in the child sexual abuse scandals of the 1980s, but this time she's on the right side of science, unlike Ms. Palin). Click here to read the article in its entirety, these are just a few representative quotations.

"When asked last month about the vice presidency, she said, "I still can't answer that question until someone answers for me: What is it exactly that the VP does every day?" When asked about Iraq, she said, "I haven't really focused much on the war in Iraq."

"She opposes just about every issue that women support by a majority or plurality. She believes that creationism should be taught in public schools but disbelieves global warming; she opposes gun control but supports government control of women's wombs; she opposes stem cell research but approves "abstinence-only" programs, which increase unwanted births, sexually transmitted diseases and abortions; she tried to use taxpayers' millions for a state program to shoot wolves from the air but didn't spend enough money to fix a state school system with the lowest high-school graduation rate in the nation; she runs with a candidate who opposes the Fair Pay Act but supports $500 million in subsidies for a natural gas pipeline across Alaska; she supports drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, though even McCain has opted for the lesser evil of offshore drilling. She is Phyllis Schlafly, only younger."

my first foray into the southern hemisphere

Dear America,

I've been hired for a freelance gig by a company in Australia. The itinerary isn't finalized yet, but I think I'll be leaving for Sydney this Thursday. I'll be back around mid-October -- in my absence please come to the realization that John McCain is a lying (or senile) economic ignoramus married to a thieving drug addict. Sorry, reformed thieving drug addict. Can you imagine if the tables were turned and Mrs. Obama had been the one stealing from her own charity to feed her drug habit?

Have a good time, and don't forget to water my plants.

Sincerely,

SeeLance