Saturday, March 08, 2008

Oh My Teapot!


(Russell's Teapot design from InklingMagazine.com by Patrick Quigley)

Russell's Celestial Teapot finally wins over a worshiper! At long last someone has realized that the existence of Bertrand Russell's miniature china teapot, spinning ad infinitum somewhere in the void between Earth and Mars, is just as likely as that of the biblical Christian god! Or rather, that said teapot is just as deserving of idolatry as the god of the Christians. Click here to read the story at The Telegraph.co.uk. The bad news, however, is that this convert to Teapotism is a former Muslim Malaysian, and she's been arrested because Islamic apostasy is against the law in her country, punishable by jailtime.

I've actually been to Kuala Lumpur for a few days (my most memorable experience was climbing Cesar Pelli's stunning Petronas Towers while they actually were the world's tallest buildings) and this news is extremely troubling to me. My impression was that of a tolerant and "moderate" majority-Muslim country, divorced from the hardcore Wahhabism of the Near East, that endorsed freedom of religion and worship as well as the freedom not to worship. It appears now that my impression was wrong.

I offer up a prayer for poor Kamariah Ali:

Our little Teapot, short and stout,
who art in the heavens,
Hallowed be thy Brew.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in High Tea.
Give us this day our daily Scones.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into soft drinks,
But deliver us from Coffee.
[For the Earl Grey, the Chrysanthemum,
and the English Breakfast are yours
now and for ever. Amen.]

Friday, March 07, 2008

Phoenix Weekend

Desert hiking, man-made lake boating, fountain gazing, and carny folk hatin' -- you can see last weekend's set of 37 photos here.
Blue Dicks, a.k.a. Desert Hyacinth
Bird of prey
Handstand
driven by three 600 horsepower pumps
Wandering through the carnival
And for Mack's perspective, pics, and a list of our our discussion topics from the weekend, you can cross-reference his blog here.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

When Teddy Bear Chollas Attack!

Teddy Bear Cholla

As I was crouching down to take the above photo of Cylindropuntia bigelovii (Teddy Bear Cholla make you holla!), I stepped on a cholla ball which embedded itself in the sole of my trainer. I gave my foot a fast flick to get the thing off, and it rolled up the side of my sneaker into my ankle. Enter one Wilhelm scream, stage left.

Teddy Bear Cholla

Dave tried mashing it between two rocks and pulling, but that only drove it further in. Mack (my hero) finally took off his undershirt and, wrapping it around his paw like an oven mitt, yanked the barbed ball clean off, impaling himself in the process. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to immediately begin packing the wound with tiny leaves torn from a random nearby bush -- good thing poison ivy doesn't grow in the desert. Here is the video of the climax:



If the embedded video doesn't play for you, here is the link to the YouTube URL. Also, for Mack's pics & perspective on our day in the desert, see his blog entry here. More photos to come from our second day on Saguaro Lake...

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Field Trip

On the first of February, I drove out to Joshua Tree with Mack and bShawley. The national park is sterling; what's even more first-class is driving 315 miles averaging 45.6 mpg. I think Mack was especially impressed given the fact that he's driven about 4,000 miles in the last 6 weeks, all in a Toyota Tacoma.

Civic Hybrid '06 in J Tree '08

Shark Attack

J Tree Shadow

I'm posting this now because bShawley has just uploaded his Lomo fisheye pics as well (see the sweet camera in the second image above). You can peep them here, while my pics are on my Flickr page.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Ambulacral Groove


Starfish, originally uploaded by xopherlance.

From the Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific this past Sunday. Those are tube feet, and they're what starfish walk around on. Almost as cool as the iridium flare I saw on Monday evening. No photos of that, though.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Dumb just doesn't do it for me anymore

In 1993 I was a freshman at VA Tech, and I loved dumb blondes. Alabama Worley (née Whitman), played ever so sweetly by Patricia Arquette in True Romance, was my Platonic ideal of the female in form and action (but especially form -- know what I'm sayin'?).

Check out this video of Kelly Pickler. This is the first time I've ever heard of her (ignorance of American Idol is truly bliss) and hopefully the last. With her platinum locks, doe-eyed naiveté and sweet Tar Heel accent, she is the living embodiment of 'Bama; and she's helped me to realize that I don't find dumb blondes as attractive as I once did. In fact, the word "loathe" comes to mind.



Some representative Ms. Pickler quotations:

"I thought Europe was a country!"
"Buda...Budapest? I never even heard of that!"
"Like, I know they speak French there...don't they?"
"Like, I want to say...is France a country?"

[All of these lines get laughs from the audience, not the gasps of horror and shame they deserve.]

Are you as turned off as I am yet? Tomorrow I'm attending a panel discussion on nuclear energy at the California Science Center, where I'm hoping to encounter some hottie geniuses who can wash out the bad taste this clip has left in my mouth.

Looks can only get you so far in this country, Kelly, and the world is much bigger than this country. Even so, I'd still like to watch you beat the $#!+ out of James Gandolfini in a motel bathroom.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Lunar Eclipse

This afternoon I was driving Soy home from Yogurt Land when NPR informed us of the imminent lunar eclipse. On a whim, we turned round and headed up to Griffith Observatory to sneak a peek at this evening's main event in our solar system. There were a few news vans, some amateur (and professional) astronomers with their 'scopes, and a crowd of a hundred or two shivering sky gazers spread out across the lawn. What impresses me most about seeing the full moon through the lens of a telescope is the fact that it resembles what it actually is: an orb of pale rock and dust, pitted with scars and craters, sailing through the vast emptiness of space. It is a reality check, a reminder of the true nature of the grand universe we inhabit. Under normal circumstances, a glance up at a full moon will reveal a bone-white disc, seemingly tacked to the firmament and changing its position every so often. I think it's the lack of detail that defeats us -- when viewed under a 25x telescope one can see clearly the receding perspective of the mountains, ridges, and seas as they near the edge of the sphere.

We watched the shadow of our planet slowly encompass our anemic satellite; we saw the fingernail crescent of sunlight shrink inexorably to nothingness. We stayed through the 52-minute pinkish totality, the time when the Earth is between the moon and the sun -- when it is lit only by the light skimming off our edges, through our atmosphere. As Jim, our telescope operator, so poetically put it, "the moon is lit only by all the sunrises and sunsets taking place on the planet right now". There are some good pictures on the Pharyngula Science Blog.

The undercards tonight were just as cool as the main event: we were witness to an iridium flare, when a beam of sunlight catches a reflection off of an iridium satellite passing overhead a couple hundred miles up in the sky -- it looked like a shooting star that grew brighter than the stars around it over 20 seconds or so and then faded away; and the planet Saturn, which looks just as your mind's eye pictures it, only tinier.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Why I will vote for Barack Obama on Tuesday

Although I view the Democratic nomination race between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama as a choice between a mediocre candidate and a truly worthy candidate, there are several key reasons why I cannot in good conscience cast a vote for Clinton. She reflects more mainstream Democratic positions and has endorsed universal health care for a decade, but she is also a war hawk, and there is not much sunlight between her and McCain on many issues. In fact, she is more conservative than McCain on several key issues, as evidenced by Ann Coulter's endorsement of Clinton over McCain. That endorsement should tell you everything you need to know, but here are five major points on which Clinton and I diverge:

1. She is in favor of maintaining the Patriot Act as it is, sections of which have been ruled unconstitutional multiple times by multiple U.S. courts, and is in clear violation of both our 4th and 1st Amendments.

2. She is in favor of military action against Iran, a country whose nuclear program we ourselves established in the 1950s, and for which no current evidence exists. In fact, our National Intelligence Estimates put the Iranians about 10 years away from developing a nuclear bomb and state that they shelved the idea of maintaining a nuclear arsenal about 4 years ago. Despite this, Hillary unapologetically goose steps with the Neoconservatives when Bush rattles his saber at Iran, displaying the same gullibility that led her to so enthusiastically follow him into war in Iraq.

I believe that Pakistan is a much more dangerous prospect, as it most likely still harbors the Al Qaida operatives who planned 9/11 and was one of only two countries in the world that recognized the oppressive Taliban regime as the legitimate rulers of Afghanistan. But Bush has rewarded Pakistan by dropping the sanctions imposed by Clinton, selling them boatloads of military planes and equipment, and has given them 10 billion dollars in aid since 9/11. All this while the father of their nuclear program, A.Q. Khan, gave secrets of their nuclear technology to North Korea, Libya and Iran while riding back and forth from those countries on the aircraft we sold them. He now has been pardoned by President Musharraf and lives free in Pakistan. Agencies of our government are not permitted to detain him and to this day have not been able to even interview him. With key allies like Musharraf, who needs enemies? Clinton criticized Obama for stating that "...if we have actionable intelligence on Al Qaeda operatives [in Pakistan] including Bin Laden, and President Musharraf cannot act, then we should."

3. She is in favor of building a fence along our border with Mexico. This is the most inane idea in recent history. If you really want illegal immigrants out of the country, there is a cheaper solution: impose much stricter fines on the corporations, agriculture companies, small business owners, and contractors who employ them, and then enforce those fines. We might even be able to win back some of our budget surplus that Bush squandered on the Iraq invasion. Without available jobs, aliens will have no other option but to return to their home countries -- if there is no wall at the border to stop them. Of course, doing this would impose a huge financial burden on those American businesses, which would have to hire more expensive citizen workers. Many of them would suffer and even go bankrupt, but that's the cost of not having illegal labor in our country. So instead, let's just throw up another billion or two and build a modern Great Wall of China -- which didn't work for them, either -- because it looks impressive and we can all go back to eating our cheaply farmed food and working in our spotless office buildings.

Alternatively, if you're hankering for a large federally mandated construction project, why not build better levees in New Orleans? They currently are engineered to hold up against a Category 3 hurricane (Katrina was a Category 3.5), and the entire levee system is still sinking so over time it will be less and less effective. Coincidentally, Obama wants to protect New Orleans against even a Category 5.

4. She is in favor of the death penalty, while I believe that, with all the recent exonerations of death row inmates using DNA evidence, a moratorium on executions is needed to prevent the sanctioned murder of innocents who had bad lawyers. I also believe that for the guilty, lifetime imprisonment with one's conscience in a cage under armed guard is a far more effective punishment than the escape and quick release of an early demise.

5. She is in favor of torture. Simply put, Hillary Clinton supports the use of torture by American forces and intelligence agencies, while even John McCain does not. This is one of the reasons why Ann Coulter despises McCain.

Regardless of who you vote for, please vote on Tuesday. If you don't yet know who your candidate is, visit The Pew Forum's website, where you can choose an important issue and compare the candidates' views on that issue. Also, there is this nifty tool that allows you feed in your positions on a variety of political issues and then spits out a chart displaying the candidates which agree with you the most and enumerates the topics on which you disagree.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Map, Schmap

Two of the photos that I have posted on my Flickr account have been selected by Schmap!! to be used in their online map/travel guides. I had never heard of them either, but hey, I'm still honored. One photo features the Walt Disney Concert Hall here in downtown, and the other is a pic of the toilet and bidet in my bathroom at the Cavalieri Hilton in Rome:

Walt Disney Concert Hall

More bathroom fun!

The downtown L.A. Schmap!! page is here, and Schmap!!'s deluxe hotel guide to Rome is here. In both cases, my photo (and credit) appears in the upper right.